1. Gather your group.
2. Describe the two essential elements of a rose – the flower and the thorn.
3. Provide an appropriate framing and then ask your group to share something that was negative, painful or disappointing about their experience, ie the thorn of the experience.
4. Next, ask your group to share something that was positive, beautiful or meaningful about their experience, ie the rose of the experience.
5. Invite as many people who wish to share to speak.

You can never have enough simple tools to use when inviting your group to reflect on their experience.

And we all know that pictures tell a thousand words, even those that are conjured or evoked in one’s mind.

These are two reasons why this technique is so useful.

Begin by asking your group to imagine a beautiful rose, in particular the flower itself and the thorns on its stem. Most people delight at the sight or thought of a rose, and will likely recoil at the thought of touching a thorn.

With this imagery in mind, provide an appropriate framing for your group’s reflection. For example, you may invite your group to reflect back on the experience of their most recent activity, project, or excursion, etc.

Now, prompt your group to respond to this question: Share something that was negative, painful or disappointing about this experience, ie the thorn of the experience.

Invite one or more volunteers to respond, or work your way around the group (aka Whip Around) if you’d prefer each person to answer the question.

When ready, move on to your next question: Share something that was positive, beautiful or meaningful about this experience, ie focusing on the rose. Again, call on one or more volunteers to share or work your way around the circle.

With powerful imagery, you will have hopefully evoked some insightful responses.

Guide the conversation as you see fit, and close when appropriate.

Sometimes, I will frame the use of this simple reflection tool in advance to describe that it’s impossible to enjoy the rose without also getting the thorns (yes, I know there are thornless roses out there, but you know what I mean!) In the same way, you can’t have light without dark. This context applies equally to the growth and development of groups and relationships and can be helpful to some people who struggle with the light and shade of this process.

Feel free to extend the analogy of a rose even further, such as to invite reflection on the perfume and grace of your group’s experience. For example, what words would you use to describe the ‘smell’ of your experience, eg sweet, stuffy, sour, etc, and the level of grace your group embraced as it undertook their experience?

You could integrate the Rose Debrief as part of a well-designed SEL program to develop your group’s ability to understand their emotions, thoughts and values and how these influence behaviour in different situations.

Specifically, this activity offers opportunities to explore and practice the following social & interpersonal skills:

Self-Awareness

• Identifying Emotions
• Linking Feelings, Values & Thoughts
• Demonstrating Self-Confidence, Honesty & Integrity
• Experiencing Self-Efficacy

Social Awareness

• Taking Other’s Perspectives
• Demonstrating Empathy & Compassion
• Understanding & Expressing Gratitude
• Appreciating Diversity
• Recognising Strengths In Others
• Respecting Others

Relationship Skills

• Communicate & Listen Effectively
• Seeking and/or Offering Support
• Build Positive Relationships

Responsible Decision-Making

• Demonstrating Curiosity & Open-Mindedness
• Making Reasoned Judgements
• Promoting Personal & Collective Well-Being

You can learn more about SEL and how it can support character education here.

There is no specific health & wellness perspective to this activity other than promoting the benefits to one’s well-being of engaging in an episode of self-reflection and awareness.

In a small way, you could argue that the focus required to successfully evoke the imagery of the ‘rose’ and ‘thorns’ may speak to the benefits of developing a set of supportive and healthy behavioural norms in advance. Or, if not, you could use these less-than-desired interactions or outcomes to explore what sorts of behaviours your group would prefer to see. For example, you could invite your group to reflect on the level of psychological safety that is felt and exists within the group and relate this to a set of observed impacts on others.

If you can think of more explicit ways in which the Rose Debrief could be purposefully integrated into a health and wellness program, please leave a comment at the base of this page.

• Rose Bud: Add a third attribute to one’s reflection by asking your group to imagine a rosebud promising to blossom one day soon. This element invites your group to share something that they are looking forward to, ie aspirational or something they can work on.
• Pass The Rose: Add a tangible aspect to this exercise by passing a real cut stem rose among members of your group. For some, experiencing the elements of a real rose first-hand – particularly the sight, smell and touch of this flora – can inspire increased levels of self-awareness and discovery.
• Open the Virtual Adaptation tab to learn how to present this activity online.

• As a prop-less, conversation starter, this reflection tool can be presented quite easily online.
• If possible, share an image of a beautiful blossoming rose (with thorns present) on the screen to evoke powerful imagery.

All of us will have seen and held a beautiful rose. No matter its colour or perfume, I am sure we can all appreciate the beauty of the flower but also acknowledge the pain of grasping its stem and pricking ourselves on a thorn. Sometimes, these elements are present in group experiences too. This will be the focus of our next conversation…

Coupled with one or more reflection strategies, here are some sample questions you could use to process your group’s experience after leading this evocative debriefing activity:

• Did the image of a rose help you reflect on your experience?
• What was helpful or unhelpful about this metaphor?
• Do you think the metaphor or analogy of a rose reflects the development of our group? In what ways?