Commonalities

1. Divide your group into teams of four to six people.
2. Provide each group with pen and paper.
3. Challenge each group to list as many ‘attributes’ every person in the group has in common.
4. Encourage groups to seek unique attributes, because if another group has a similar attribute on their list, both groups must cross it off their list.
5. After five to eight minutes, invite each group to read their full list of commonalities to everyone.
6. The group with the most attributes (remaining) on their list after all groups have shared, wins.

Video Transcript for Commonalities
presented by Mark Collard

So let’s review the setup. We have four teams. Each team has an equal number of people, four people. And you have a couple of sheets of paper, little index cards, and one pen. Everybody got that? Okay, great.

Here’s the exercise. It’s likely that there are people in your group that perhaps you’re not particularly familiar with, so in a moment I’m going to ask you quickly to just introduce yourself, maybe you want to capture a name or two.

If you already know these people you’re about to find something new about them, even though you think that you might know them quite well.

Here’s how the exercise works after you’ve done the initial introduction. So you’re going to have several minutes in which through a conversation you’re going to make a list on your index cards of as many things that all four people in your group have in common.

Now before you start going oh let’s start, there’s a couple of things you need to be aware of. Yes, develop your list, but in… let’s say I give you two minutes to do this, at the end of the two minutes you’ll have your list of whatever that is.

Let’s say you’ve got sixteen things on your list.

The only way you get to keep those items on your list is if what you’ve identified all of your four people have in common does not appear on anyone else’s list.

So for example if you all said… I don’t know… you went all the same university, okay, if another group also said but that’s something we also have in common, if you happen to have someone else mention it before you have a chance to share your list, you’ve got to cross it off your own. So that must be unique.

So yes, go for the really obvious ones. For example, this is… you’re the only group of girls, but let’s say there was another group of girls, okay? Then that’s not so obvious… Sorry, that’s very obvious.

Look for those things that are a little bit more unique. For example it might be that you all love Hawaiian pizza… Yeah, let’s write that down, because that’s less likely to come up on someone else’s list, which means you get to keep it on your list which means that’s a point for your list.

Got the basic idea?

So think outside what is obvious, but have a conversation, but it’s critical that whatever you write down, everyone in your group, all four of you have that in common.

Actually I’ll give you three minutes for this.

Keep writing it down and then at the end of three minutes we’re going to go through each of the different groups and then we’ll find out who has got the longest list. Those people who have the longest list of course naturally win the exercise.

(people playing)

Ladies, do you want to go through your list? If you hear something that is the same or very close thereto that appears on your list, you need to cross it off your list. So they get to keep it. Naturally they get to do the same thing when they hear your list, but on this occasion they get the first chance. So go for it.

(First one, we are all female.)

Yes.

(We are all under 5’5”. So we’re short.)

Well you were at that end of the line.

(We all like steak and we all enjoy IPA.)

Alright, a little clap there. Thank you very much.

Alright, so we’ve now gone through all four groups. Do a quick add, not including of course anything you may have crossed off and let’s find out how many you had on your list. Alright, so a number over here?

(Thirteen.)

Thirteen.

(Fourteen.)

Fourteen.

(Ten.)

Ten.

(Fourteen.)

Fourteen. We got an even number. Alright, a little clap, a little acknowledgement. Well done. Good job. Good job.

Ask your group to divide into groups of four to six people – the size is not too critical, but many more than six people and the search for commonalities becomes difficult.

Equip each group with a pen and paper, and then invite them to develop a list of attributes/things that everyone in their group has in common. Five to eight minutes thinking time is normally long enough.

For example, after a quick discussion, a group may discover that they are all the eldest in their families, or they have all visited the Melbourne Zoo, or perhaps can sing the first line of a Beatles song. Whatever – ‘it’ just has to be common to everyone in the group, and the group with the longest list of commonalities wins!

Now, at this point, some groups get a little too excited thinking that, given it’s a competition, they will just list all of the really obvious things they have in common, such as “we’re all wearing clothes,” “we all have teeth,” “we all have mothers,” etc.

Groups are welcome to add these very obvious attributes to their list, BUT…. (and here’s the kicker,) if at least one other group has this same or similar attribute on their list, both groups must cross it off their tally.

Yep, not so easy anymore, and – purposefully – this rule encourages groups to look for the really interesting things they have in common. Such as “driven more than a kilometre with the hand-brake on” or “all born by caesarean” or “been in an ambulance,” as just three worthy contenders I’ve recently heard.

The group with the most attributes (remaining) on their list after all groups have shared, wins.

You’ll need to offer a few ‘interesting’ examples of commonality as part of your briefing to help people understand what you mean. Because, if they’re not clear, they’ll just take the easy way out which is far less interesting, and is less likely to achieve your objectives.

Remember, if one group announces a commonality, and another group claims to have it on their list too, both groups must cross it off their lists.

Don’t skimp on the time allocated for groups to share. The whole point of this exercise is to share, and the more your group shares, the stronger their relationships will become.

Be prepared to have to make some judgement calls when determining if a particular attribute matches another group. Remind your group, the emphasis is on ‘similar.’

You could integrate Commonalities as part of a well-designed SEL program to promote and maintain healthy and supportive relationships and to effectively navigate settings with diverse people.

Specifically, this activity offers opportunities to explore and practice the following social & interpersonal skills:

Self-Awareness

• Identifying Emotions
• Identifying Personal, Cultural & Linguistic Assets
• Recognising Strengths, Prejudices & Biases
• Demonstrating Self-Confidence, Honesty & Integrity
• Experiencing Self-Efficacy

Social Awareness

• Taking Other’s Perspectives
• Understanding & Expressing Gratitude
• Appreciating Diversity
• Recognising Strengths In Others
• Respecting Others

Relationship Skills

• Communicate & Listen Effectively
• Build Positive Relationships
• Demonstrate Cultural Competency
• Work Collaboratively

Responsible Decision-Making

• Demonstrating Curiosity & Open-Mindedness
• Promoting Personal & Collective Well-Being

You can learn more about SEL and how it can support character education here.

Emotional Intelligence

The single act of seeking commonality with others can be a powerful tool to help you build emotional literacy skills. The ability to understand and connect with another person will always nourish and strengthen relationships and this can only be a good thing for an individual’s well-being. The sorts of conversations small groups will have often feature lots of positive emotions, including empathy, compassion and of course laughter.

• Un-Common: Ask your group to develop a list of things that no one has in common (altogether much more difficult) – that is, you are looking for ‘things’ that only one person can lay claim to, eg “been struck by lightning,” “rolled an ambulance” and “never broken a bone.”
• Exponential Commonalities: Start with pairs. Once they find something in common they raise their hands. Instruct them to join with another pair who have raised their hands and now look for something all four of them have in common. This quad raises their hands once they have their commonality and then join another group of four to form a group of eight, and so on. Stop at groups of 8 or 16 (and ask each group to share their commonality) or keep going until everyone is a member of one large common group.
• Anything Goes: Drop the ‘duplicate’ rule and inspire each small group to develop a really long list of attributes that they all have in common, allowing as many obvious attributes as possible. This version is more competition of quick-thinking than creativity, perhaps.

How often have you been involved in a conversation, with someone you just met, and quickly discovered that you had something in common with this person? You know, a friend in common, or you live in the same suburb, etc. It is said that any two people in the world are connected by no more than six degrees of separation, often less. It is also suggested that the art of small talk is to find something you have in common with another person as quickly as possible. This next exercise is about exploring all of the things we have in common with others, but, today, my challenge to you is, how many of these areas of commonality are interesting, or indeed, unique…

This exercise is all about creating the most bizarre and most interesting list of attributes, that, if you were to bump into someone at a party who had all of these attributes, you would want to spend all night talking with them…

Coupled with one or more reflection strategies, here are some sample questions you could use to process your group’s experience after playing this fun get-to-know-you game:

• Name one thing that you learned during this activity you didn’t know before?
• Did anything surprise you about someone? Why?
• How easy or difficult was it to find things in common with your partners?
• What was something you discovered about yourself?
• What might this exercise say about our group?
• Do you think you could find something in common with any or every person in the world?

Fun Introductory ‘Team-Building’ Session

What You Need:
10+ people, 40 mins, many lengths of rope, pen & paper for each group, a cone

• Map Making – creative problem-solving exercise to create a map of the world
• Mapping – interactive spatial exercise which uses the newly created map
• Commonalities – fun small group game which seeks things in common

Passive ‘Team-Building’ Session

What You Need:
8+ people, 60 mins, set of 9 rubber spots, pens & paper

• Commonalities – quick & fun game that seeks lots of things in common
• Quick Shuffle – classic real-person variation of the memory game
• Traffic Jam – challenging group initiative which seeks to solve a traffic jam
• Chic-A-Boom – wonderful circle game to finish your program on a high