Accepting Yourself

1. Schedule this exercise at the conclusion of a significant, possibly lengthy program experience.
2. Distribute one Accepting Yourself worksheet to each person (download from Resources tab.)
3. Invite each person to complete the first section (only) of the worksheet (allow 10 minutes.)
4. When ready, re-gather your group.
5. Invite one person to start by sharing their thoughts to the first section.
6. Next, invite the rest of your group to share any additional strengths they see in this person.
7. Ask a volunteer to record these extra thoughts and affirmations on the individual’s worksheet, ie so they may be present to the feedback from others.
8. Continue this process until all participants have shared and received feedback from the rest of the group.

This was one of the first, very significant reflection strategies I engaged with as both a participant of an adventure-based program and a facilitator.

I love it a LOT because of the inherent power of affirmations, I hope you do too.

First, this experience should be saved for those programs in which your group has been together for a long, substantive period of time. It is necessary for the group members to know one another well, so perhaps this would work at the end of a school term, or a corporate retreat, a residential camp, etc.

In advance, you’ll need to produce a copy of the Accepting Yourself worksheet, one per person. You can create your own, but you can also download one from the Resources tab to get you started.

Be sure to allow ample time for the reflection and discussion. Up to an hour sometimes, but of course, this all depends on the number of people you plan to involve. If possible, keep your group size to about 12 to 15 people, and divide into smaller groups of this number if you have to.

Once you have gathered your group, distribute a copy of the worksheet to each person, and pens if necessary.

Frame the experience as desired, often referring to the safe and affirming environment within which you expect to facilitate it.

Armed with their worksheet and a pen, ask each person to spend some time on their own to answer the first question (or section) of the worksheet. Feel free to edit as required.

There are many ways to frame this question, but it is often focused on strengths, contributions and accomplishments.

Most people will need at least 5 to 10 minutes to reflect and respond to this question. Don’t rush it, but your group will not need 30 minutes either.

When ready, re-gather your group, possibly sitting in a circle so everyone can see and hear each other.

Announce that in a few minutes you will invite each person to share what they wrote on their worksheets and immediately after, you will invite the rest of the group to add their thoughts. Often it is in these added thoughts the most valuable insights are gathered.

To this end, ask for a volunteer to record these thoughts (on the worksheet) on behalf of the individual receiving the feedback, ie this way the person receiving the affirmations can be present to this feedback.

Once you have a volunteer scribe in place, ask for your first volunteer. They will share their strengths/contributions/accomplishments and then, guided by you, invite the rest of the group to add their thoughts.

Note, it is not necessary for all (other) members of the group to say something. This will be hard for some people to curb their enthusiasm, but in the interest of time, it is necessary.

In my experience, most people develop a short list of their strengths, so the affirmations which follow from the group are so very powerful. It is not uncommon to see tears shed during the exercise.

When ready, invite the next person to share, along with a new volunteer scribe to standby ready to take notes when the time comes.

This process continues until all group members have shared.

Be sure to keep a box of tissues close by.

You can certainly lead this activity with a large group of 20 or more people. However, you will need to work hard to curb the enthusiasm of every person from saying something, lest the experience blows out to a 2-hour affair.

As much as is possible, lead this activity in a distraction-free zone with plenty of comfy places to congregate.

You could integrate Accepting Yourself as part of a well-designed SEL program to develop your group’s ability to understand their emotions, thoughts and values and how these influence behaviour in different situations.

Specifically, this activity offers ample opportunities to explore and practice the following social & interpersonal skills:

Self-Awareness

• Identifying Emotions
• Linking Feelings, Values & Thoughts
• Identifying Personal, Cultural & Linguistic Assets
• Recognising Strengths, Prejudices & Biases
• Demonstrating Self-Confidence, Honesty & Integrity
• Experiencing Self-Efficacy
• Having A Growth Mindset

Self-Management

• Demonstrating Self-Discipline & Self-Motivation
• Taking Initiative

Social Awareness

• Taking Other’s Perspectives
• Demonstrating Empathy & Compassion
• Understanding & Expressing Gratitude
• Appreciating Diversity
• Recognising Strengths In Others
• Respecting Others

Relationship Skills

• Communicate & Listen Effectively
• Seeking and/or Offering Support
• Build Positive Relationships
• Work Collaboratively

Responsible Decision-Making

• Demonstrating Curiosity & Open-Mindedness
• Making Reasoned Judgements
• Promoting Personal & Collective Well-Being

You can learn more about SEL and how it can support character education here.

Mindfulness, Accountability & Emotional Intelligence

This exercise is ideally suited to any program that is looking to focus on the practice of mindfulness, not to mention one’s social and emotional competencies (see Social-Emotional Learning tab.) Participants will be invited to sit in enquiry to consider, recognise and celebrate their strengths and achievements, which when shared publicly, introduces an element of accountability to the activity.

• Accepting Yourself Plus: Take a look at the Resources tab to download a more comprehensive worksheet that invites a fuller exploration of one’s strengths and abilities.
• Take a look at Letter to Self and Affirming Thoughts as equally powerful reflection strategies to conclude your programs.
• Open the Virtual Adaptation tab to learn how to present this activity online.

• Admittedly, this exercise loses something when people are not physically present in the same room but there is nothing stopping you from leading it online.
• More than ever, work hard to encourage your group to resist the temptation to be distracted during the activity.

We’ve spent a lot of time together as a group and we have really started to know one another better. Yet, this next activity will invite you to look at yourself…

In most instances, we are often better at giving positive feedback and affirmations to others than we are at providing it to ourselves. Yet a critical element of fully developing our interpersonal skills is the ability to be self-aware and this next activity is very much focused on this competency…

Coupled with one or more reflection strategies, here are some sample questions you could use to process your group’s experience after leading this powerful reflection exercise:

• What were you saying to yourself while you completed the worksheet?
• Did you find this task difficult? Why?
• How do you think your strengths contributed to your successes?
• How did it feel to share these thoughts about yourself with the rest of the group?
• How did it feel to receive feedback from others?
• Were you surprised at some of the strengths others saw in you?
• As a group, what did we observe about the reactions of the person receiving this feedback?
• What do you make this mean?
• Is giving and receiving feedback a skill you would like to develop?
• What’s important about giving and receiving feedback?
• How do you think your list of strengths may contribute to settings goals for the future?