Why Our Go-To Motivation Strategies Fall Short
When someone appears unmotivated, our instinct is to diagnose the deficit:
- Why aren’t you more enthusiastic?
- What would it take to get you engaged?
- What’s holding you back?
These are logical questions. They’re also, in most cases, completely counterproductive.
Questions that focus on what’s absent – on the gap between current motivation and desired motivation – tend to have the opposite effect of what’s intended. They draw attention to the problem, not the solution. They make the person defend their low motivation rather than explore what’s already there.
There’s a better way. And I learned it from a colleague of mine at a summer camp, years ago.
A Story about Josh Making His Bed
Josh was a summer camp kid who hated making his bed. Every morning, his bunk was the last one to be sorted, if it was sorted at all. My co-counsellor Jeff decided to have a quiet word. He asked Josh to rate, out of ten, how much he liked making his bed. Josh said three – which, given his track record, was probably being generous.
Now here’s the moment that changed how I think about motivation. Jeff didn’t ask the obvious follow-up question: “Why didn’t you rate it higher?” He asked something completely different: “Why didn’t you rate it lower than a three?”
That single shift in direction changed the entire conversation.
The Power of the Unexpected Question
By asking why the number wasn’t lower, Jeff invited Josh to articulate what he didn’t completely hate about making his bed.
Suddenly Josh was identifying his own reasons for doing the task – not defending his resistance to it. He was building a case for the activity, however small, from the inside out.
This technique has a name: motivational interviewing.
Developed originally in a therapeutic context, it has since found enormous application in management, coaching, education, and parenting.
The core principle is to focus on the existing motivation – the reasons someone is already at a three, rather than the reasons they haven’t reached a seven.
Why “Why Didn’t You Rate It Lower?” Works
The question works because it shifts the locus of the conversation from absence to presence. Instead of cataloguing what’s missing, it reveals what’s already there. And crucially, the person being asked is the one making the case – not you.
People are far more persuaded by arguments they construct themselves than by arguments presented to them. When Josh articulated his own reasons for not completely despising bed-making, those reasons belonged to him. Jeff hadn’t pushed – he’d pulled.
The next time you’re working with someone whose motivation seems low, try it. Ask them why they didn’t rate it lower.
You might be surprised at what surfaces.
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